How The NCTE Conference Helped Me Get Past Manufactured Fears

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As part of a warm-up to write our own “I Am/Am Not poems,”in Session B.29-I Am Not: Using Poetry To Empower Students To Define Themselves,  we brainstormed stereotypes about teachers. The following list is what we came up with.

We are:

  • coffee drinkers
  • prudes
  • grammar cops
  • control freaks
  • boring
  • unambitious
  • women
  • good students in school

Presenters Ellen Hagan and Renee Watson talked about how reflection happens organically as you begin to chart responses and gives momentum for others to think deeply about themselves. We then created charts for stereotypes about women and men.

After we had charted our responses we were encouraged to write a poem using the “I Am Not/I Am” format as a model.  We each took a line or short stanza and got together in about groups of five and put a new poem together with our selected pieces. What I want to share with you is the excerpt I took from my poem:

I am not just a public school teacher

who plans lessons, grades, and teaches the younger generation.

I am a bridge connecting

the past and present

towards a purposeful future.

Attending the National Conference of English Teachers Convention for the first time gave me the strength I need to affirm my identity as a teacher.

With my hero, Sherman Alexie.

When I turned 25 years old, I found myself running into the teaching profession. Reading, writing, and being around youth keeps me hopeful for the future.  And when I reached the line where I was working as a full-time teacher, I did not want to ever have to look back. However, I then became scared of having it all be taken away from me. I forgot about the hard work and collaboration and support from others that had brought me here and could push me forward. I became frightened by the budget cuts, reforms, and test scores. I was under the illusion that what evaluations and test scores had to say about my teacher effectiveness mattered more than my students’ or colleagues’ feedback. My reflection on my professional development felt like it meant little in the face of what the superintendent may have to say.

After the NCTE conference though, I realized that I have been moving on from a need for security to a need for establishing myself as a professional. The sessions and conversations I have had with teachers over those past two days convinced me that I have to be the one to initiate using my voice and practice as the professional teacher I want to be. Why wait for things to be handed to me? They never were given to me in the first place.

I was inspired by Ignite sessions around collaboration and owning your profession as a teacher. I am reminded time and again that students are often the untapped resource when it comes to collaboration. Together with explicit discussion around the work we do, I want to build another set of Commen Core Standards to lie above the mandated CCSS. One that has our values and issues at heart. One to connect the English Language Arts with personal growth, dialogue, and critical citizenship through literacy. I heard from a couple of teachers during the conference that they have done this work and it inspired me.

I am now relying on what I know to be true: networking and collaborating with others will enhance my teaching.

Using Writing to Rise Like a Phoenix

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October 19-20, 2012 was the National Day of Writing.  Last year, I remember conversations around this day to be focused on why we write, this year it’s about what we write and I am celebrating with Buster Benson’s 750.words.com.  Currently, I am working my way towards earning my Phoenix badge for writing 750 words for 100 days straight! I will be earning this badge two days before my birthday. What a perfect way to think about renewal with a symbol that stands exactly for that.

Next up, Phoenix badge!

Benson’s website welcomes writers to follow Julia Cameron’s practice in her book, The Artist’s Way, in writing 750 words a day. She calls it her “morning pages” but Benson’s website allows you to write at anytime of day. The website is inviting and offers a clean white background to write on, while it tracks the number of words you type on the bottom of the right corner. As soon as you hit 750 words, a green box pops up on the right hand corner congratulating you. You can always write more than 750 words. The minimum amount of words required for it to count towards earning badges though is 750 words.

Benson offers everything from badges to charity notes based on your day-to-day word count. I admit, I LOVE writing to get the cool badges that are offered for word count and writing behaviors.  I also LOVE pie charts and this website collects and analyzes data from your writing to show things you may not consciously be aware of. Some of it can seem way off but when it resonates with you, it’s cool to see.

My settings on 750words is set on private but it still will do text analysis on my writing. If I want to share my writing or statistics with other writers I can do that. However, I see this as a space where I can still privately write down whatever I want. I enjoy writing about teaching on this blog, through Twitter, or on English Companion Ning. Every day, I am writing lesson plans and agendas. Still, that’s not enough for me to feel satisfied as someone who also uses writing for the purpose of reflecting on experiences and feelings felt throughout the day.

In tune with a world of writers

What I write is directly related to why I write. I have used 750words to write about my day, to make future plans, to keep track of everything I am thankful for, to brainstorm ideas for future essays, and to practice the writing style of someone else.  No matter what I end up writing just the act of doing it every day makes me feel like I can communicate with others more clearly. It enables me to relate to respected authors who claim that writing is hard no matter how long you have been doing it.

And perhaps, it will inspire me to connect to the world through different senses and points of view.

Allowing Myself to be 200% Better At Teaching

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Last year was the toughest of my teaching career (even more so than the year prior when I my school closed).  Almost all the lessons I tried to transfer from my last school bombed.  My energy was drained from planning and teaching lessons that did not instruct the students.

Since I still got excited in conversations around teaching, I  had patience to reflect on my practice. One of the biggest insights I got from last year, was that I had not committed myself to teaching in a middle school setting. My student teaching was in a high school and I applied to be a secondary English teacher with my sights on high school. The summer after my student teaching I was offered a middle school position. I accepted it with the thought that, perhaps down the line I could switch to the older grades. After four years teaching in middle school, I realized that this was the grade level I truly wanted to be in after all.

Once I commited myself to being a middle school teacher, I realized I had to do more research on teaching strategies to engage students this age. I started with middle school guru, Rick Wormeli. At the end of last year, I bought Day One and Beyond to help plan my vision for next year.   The beginning of the book offered a bit of wisdom that is my main motivating mantra for the year:

“… allow yourselves to be 200 percent better at teaching during your second year of service instead of battering yourselves during your first year of teaching for every mistake you’ve made (Wormeli, 2003).”

I’m allowing myself to be 200% better at teaching. As far as I’m concerned, teaching at a new district and/or school and commiting myself to being in a middle school setting is like being a new teacher all over again. I reflected on how I set myself up last year and saw the major areas I had to improve.

books in my classroom library and on Librarything shelf

Classroom Set-Up: In August, I made an effort to organize and label the heart of an ELA classroom: the library. This took the greatest amount of time as I wanted to catalog all the books I have and put them into different categorized bins around the library. Yes, this took HOURS (and I did not catalog all of them yet). But I will tell you this, I know exactly what books I own. I can find the right book for a student much quicker than I have ever had. I also have found a new online community around books as a bonus: Librarything! I’m able to scan my books into a virtual library shelf with their smartphone app. and students can search what I have from home!

Authentic Connections: Last year, I threw a bunch of personal interest surveys at my students in hopes of getting to know who they are and they complained about every one of them. “Why do you need to know this? What does it matter?”I wrote a letter of introduction and expected them to feel an immediate connection to my references to video games (“In my spare time I like to play Plants vs. Zombies”). Instead I got, “I think you spelled the school’s address wrong” and some snickers. By the way, the address was perfectly fine, the students were just not  interested in learning about who I am in this format. Wormeli explains why in Day One, “With each period of nothing but endless forms, get-to-know-you activities and reviewing classroom protocols, we kill that excitement. Students grow increasingly disillusioned (2003).”

This year, I planned my beginning lessons with a balance of academic and procedural work. I also thought ahead for those moments where I can authentically find out who my students are and vice-versa. Now, I share who I am in connection to read alouds and encouraged them to share themselves in relation to the texts. Gary Soto’s “Seventh Grade” on day two was a perfect way to do this.

While there are many other factors that have contributed to a strong start to the school year, I feel that my classroom library emphasis and planned moments to authentically connect to students through content were two of the biggest reasons. Throughout the lessons,  I also tried to incorporate “fun” activities with five minute games and special cheers for acknowledgment (taken from this excellent social-emotional development course called, Developmental Designs). Now that the school year is moving towards the more meaty part of the curriculum, I hope to continue to engage students through the content. My personal focus is to maintain my energy at a reasonable level. It almost sounds like trying to be 200% better might drain me, if I’m not careful.

Ways Teachers Orient Themselves In The Summer

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Are you one of those teachers that freaks out a little when summer arrives because you feel disorganized and prone to wasting time without having a set schedule?  While we all embrace sleeping and spending more time with loved ones, if you’re not working over the summer, it can feel wierd to not be as occupied. I tried delving into planning for the next year right when school ended, but it made me more anxious than ever.  I know that my personal life got lost during the school year and it was important to reconnect with it. This summer, I made it a goal to take July “off” from school work and to spend time orienting myself towards a more balanced personal and professional life.

This is something I could see Agent Dale Cooper using in Twin Peaks.

The primary way I’m trying to orient myself this summer is by writing.  At a cute little store in my neighborhood that likes to sell whimisical knick-knacks, I bought a notebook called “The Unconscious Passport” which has helped me in this endeavor. Its miniature size makes it easy to take out and write quick-stream-of conscious thinking wherever I happen to be in public. Doing this kind of writing has cleared my thinking and grounded me as I go about my day. I’m also taking a week long essay writing class that I hope will help me discover new ideas. Then there is this blog, which I am setting up to help me reflect on my teaching throughout the year.

Here are some other directions teachers take in the summer:

1. Traveling.  With consecutive weeks off in the summer, I know many teachers who take this time to travel to places they have never been before or that they already love. Lillie Marshall, a teacher who worked at the school I student taught at, took a whole year off for traveling and it reignited a greater passion for teaching. She even wrote a piece for The Huffington Post about how traveling can keep teachers in the classroom here: To Keep Teachers From Quitting the Classroom, Let Us Step Out Of It.

2. Goal-centered Reading: I have heard teachers say things like, “This is the summer I read all of the Harry Potter series.” Jim Burke, a teacher and author of many professional development books, has said on Twitter that he usually picks an author and reads all of their books.

3.  Accountable Excercise: This is where being more aware of your body comes in.There are so many great excercise programs and apps out there to set goals and publicize them. I have posted on livestrong.com and the Runkeeper app for Android. A couple of my teacher friends have become strong enough to do triathlons.   I’m just hoping this will be the year I do my first 5K.

While I also like to spend a day or two lying on the couch Netflix marathoning, as soon as I feel like the day is wasted I get right back to structuring my hours with more active things.  In the summer everything feels lighter and warmer, and  you have to take advantage of familiarizing yourself with all the wonders that lie outside the classroom. It is my hope that the goals I have for summer will lead into a more balanced school year as well.

If anyone wants to describe the directions they take in the summer, please share!

Beginning Summer Vacation: A Time For Some To Grieve

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My abuela (grandmother) was one of my most influential teachers.

My grandmother passed away on Monday, July 2, 2012. The act of writing her eulogy was a way of processing my feelings and memories of her.  The act of reading it was a way for me to bear witness to the beauty of her life. It was a powerful series of goodyes and it made me think of the other recent goobyes I had to say as the summer vacation started.

When the 2011-2012 school year ended in June, I said goodbye to my students as well as to the staff.  I found out I was being moved with a group of other teachers to begin a brand new middle school for the following year.  I knew that there was a possibility of this happening and I hoped that I would be selected for it. However, not all teachers who also were hoping to get placed in the middle school did. It made the end of the year feel more bitter than sweet.

Across the country,many hard-working and dedicated teachers get pink-slipped by the end of the year as part of the economic trend for the past three years (even this year’s California Teacher of the Year). Friends and colleagues of teachers who lost their job frequently jump to write them recommendations and forward open teacher positions in the area. Despite all the support though, teachers who have been laid off may seem a little distant because they are also grieving a loss.

There is an enlightening essay about job loss and grieving originally printed in the Harvard Review by Meenakshi Gigi Durham (now featured in the 2011 Best American Essays collection). Durham describes how her husband, Dallas was denied tenure at the university they both work at and the pain he went through:

 ”We could always get other jobs, or move to a smaller house and live on my salary or something. The real crisis was the blunt negation of Dallas’s identity, an identity that had been slowly, delicately building since he had been a star doctoral student in a star graduate program-building in pulsating fragments, like a coral reef.”

It is hard to keep the personal and professional aspects of yourself apart, when you are a teacher. I too have also formed a stronger sense of my own identity through teaching and I was devastated each time my position was cut. The hardest year was when the school I was teaching at closed. That last day in June, students and teachers were crying in and out of the classrooms. It was like a culmination of identities under one roof had collapsed. Students wondered aloud if it was their fault because they had poor grades or test scores. Teachers felt demoralized.

At this point where we are heading into mid-summer, it is my hope that teachers who have lost their jobs have grieved and maintained their confidence-or better yet, got hired! If you’re going through this or know someone who is, don’t under estimate this tough transition, but know that we all get through it.